AllBranBar

[[image:5050083281532_200.jpg width="200" height="200" align="right" caption="AllBranBar as shown in one of his many incarnations"]] AllBranBar
The All Knowing, All Seeing, AllBranBar. All one word.

AllBranBar is a holy entity born from a spontaneous combustion of whole grain goodness. He also has credits for acting, producing, and directing in movies. Known as the smartest person who ever lived, he is prominent in drawing and has reached the highest pitch ever known to man with his voice allowing him to break glass and dent cars. He is most known for the 2006 Sci-Fi/Fantasy movie, An Inconvenient Truth, where he plays his alter ego, Al Gore, spending a quarter of the movie presenting the myth known as Global Warming, as a fact, while the rest of the movie consists of Al Gore's life stories.


 * Also Known As:**


 * God
 * Jesus
 * The Chosen One
 * The Holy One
 * Kellogg's
 * Al Gore
 * Vince Vaughn
 * Sarah Palin
 * Zoolander
 * Dancing Six Flags Man
 * Sham-Wow Guy

History
AllBranBar was born on December 25th, around 4-6 BC. He grew up in a small rural town where he lived as an actor for the local theatre. He went by the stage name Jesus, generating fanbases, and creating a false concept, known as religion. At the age of 15, he moved out of his parent's garage and started a band named Kansas with his classmates.
 * __6BC, December 25th - Birth__**

Despite the medias attempts and bribes, there is no evidence that AllBranBar actually existed. There is now millions around the word that wish to see and witness it. It is now speculated that he is actually a part of the American hip-hop group Outkast and is now dating American actress Rachael Leigh Cook.
 * __1500 - Present__**

[[image:Graph.JPG width="252" height="177" align="right" caption="A Chart That Presents Al Gore's Undisputable Proof Of Global Warming"]]
**Al Gore & Global Warming**

The most well known alter ego of AllBranBar is no doubt Al Gore. Spawned from out of nowhere, Al Gore ran for president and loss (as expected) to someone else who no one really cared for. Thanks to his campaign in Florida (Where he told everyone to get a job and stop setting humans back another million years.) he lost by a mere 20 votes. This enraged and encouraged the community college graduate to pursue another path to fame, spending the rest of his life pretending to care for earth and creating the myth, Global Warming.



"//We can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius.//” - George W. Bush

-

**Fiber One**
Following shortly after gaining massive publicity and fame, AllBranBar created an Offspring by mating with one of his creations, Raisan Bran, resulting in Fiber One. Unlike AllBranBar, no one feared or even cared for Fiber One, and was soon eaten alive by loose cannibals in Burma.

**__Deliciousness[[image:Fibertwo.jpg width="360" height="205" align="right" caption="The Rampage As a Result Of The Fiber One Shortage Of 1994"]]__**
Fiber One is so delicious that it has recently been ranked among the top 5 most delicious deliciousosities by NACOD (North American Council on Deliciousness).

Furthermore, the experts at NACOD agree that Fiber One mixed with milk reaches a level of deliciousness yet to be reached since Raisins were infamously mixed with Bran. For this reason Fiber Two consistently ranks as the most delicious cereal in the world, finishing slightly above Raisin Bran.

The deliciousness of Fiber One can be attributed to the inherent deliciousness of the number 1, which is far more delicious than the number 73, the second most delicious number. Fiber, alternatively, is relatively flavorless and tastes similar to the highly flavorless Flavor Flav.


 * The Epic Duel**

A historical book, dating back before The Bible itself was written, named 101 Kitchen Secrets, depicted an epic struggle between the 3 high powers. This battle took place when all the world was still joined. Little is known about this battle except for the results. AllBranBar emerged victorious, but the clash had split the world into seperate continents. The other 2 participating powers were Thunder Thandi and GalactaCookie.

Things Invented By AllBranBar

 * Global Warming
 * Internet
 * Pokemon Cards
 * Granola Bars
 * Ketchup
 * Google
 * Music
 * Refrigerator Rubber Guards
 * Fiber One
 * Cellphones
 * Water
 * Selkies
 * The Cell Theory
 * McDonald's
 * Cable
 * Condoms
 * Yeast
 * Bread
 * Gonorrhea
 * Slip 'n Slide
 * Feather Pens
 * Hot Dog Buns
 * Windshield Wipers
 * Bon Jovi
 * Bendy Straws
 * Suicide Helpline Waiting Music